Out and About With Helen Fick!

In celebration of Fall, sophomore Helen Fick innocently sets out with friends to explore a local corn maze only to find herself lost in a green sea of perilous adventure.

Stuck In A Corn Maze

1

Day 1

We have begun to walk through the Sauvie Island corn maze. All of us are very excited and ready for the adventure.

Pictured: (left to right) sophomore Amy Sloan, Hyacinth Fick (my little sister), and me, excited for some sweet corn maze adventures.

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Day 3

We’ve been in here for a while now, and things have become to get a bit drab, but that’s okay. I’m sure we’ll be out soon.

Pictured: Hyacinth having a joyous time listening to some jolly jokes.

3

Day 5

Things have become to get a little off. It’s clear some of us are getting a little angry I suppose. It’s been quite a long time. We’ve just run out of food, and water is sparse.

Pictured: Sophomore William Sweek, depleting our leftover food. After this, a fight ensued and the rest of us got a little mad.

4

Day 7

It’s clear bad emotions have risen. All of us feel like we are slowly growing insane. Today I thought I saw a fairy amongst the corn, but it was really just some of my own tears I shed on them.

Pictured: Amy is clearly pissed about the fact that all she can hear is the constant chirping of birds and my own crying.

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Day 11

Tensions have begun to rise and the waves of conflict are crashing upon us. I’m afraid that one of us is going to die before we get out of here. I don’t want to die. I forgot to say ‘I love you’ to my mom before we left.

Pictured: Junior Tosca Ruotolo begins to harvest and hoard that sweet, sweet yellow gold. She is insistent that sharing is not caring.

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Day 13

Amy believes that she can discover another color if she squints hard enough.

Pictured: Amy, beginning her werewolf transformation. Well, she thinks that, but it truly is a hallucination after seeing too much green. We’ve named it Greenie Weenie Syndrome.

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Day 14

Tosca continues to be dead inside and frequently shows it, but I secretly think she’s planning to kill one of us in our sleep. I haven’t slept in days, I will not be eaten!

Pictured: Tosca’s eyes have definitely died some time recently. If you look hard enough, you’ll notice the depths of Hell. I guess even at a glance you can see it.

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Day 16

We’re all mad here. We’re all going to die. We’re all going to rot.

Pictured: Amy attempts to eat William for the third time today. We’re all worried about him. I think we all know Amy is way too far gone.

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Day 17

HOW WILL I EVER GET OUT OF THIS CORN HELL

Pictured: Amy keeps on jabbering about how pretty the raindrops look in our hair while attempting to lick them off our heads.

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Day 19

Somehow we are all still alive. I thought that it might be nice if someone died. One less potential murderer and one less person to eat our corn. Maybe their carcass could feed us for a day or two. A little meat would be nice.

Pictured: Amy fails to sacrifice herself to the gods.

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Day 20

A wonderful thing has just occurred. Once it started raining, the Corn Cop found us and led us to safety. I can’t wait to eat some real food. If I ever see corn again I might just kill someone. I am sincerely grateful, but I have a feeling that I want to stay in the maze. I built a home there and had corn children. I’ve nicknamed them the Children of the Corn.

Pictured: The Corn Cop leads us out of the corn maze.

Interested in experiencing your own thrilling corn maze adventure? Check out The Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island.

Patch hours: 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. daily

16511 NW Gillihan Rd.

503-621-3874

Online: thepumpkinpatch.com

Words by Helen Fick
According to Oregon law, student journalists are responsible for determining the content of this publication, except under limited circumstances. The subject matter, content and views of the news, features and opinion sections in this paper do not reflect the views of Portland Public Schools or Woodrow Wilson High School.