In celebration of Fall, sophomore Helen Fick innocently sets out with friends to explore a local corn maze only to find herself lost in a green sea of perilous adventure.
Stuck In A Corn Maze
We have begun to walk through the Sauvie Island corn maze. All of us are very excited and ready for the adventure.
Pictured: (left to right) sophomore Amy Sloan, Hyacinth Fick (my little sister), and me, excited for some sweet corn maze adventures.
We’ve been in here for a while now, and things have become to get a bit drab, but that’s okay. I’m sure we’ll be out soon.
Pictured: Hyacinth having a joyous time listening to some jolly jokes.
Things have become to get a little off. It’s clear some of us are getting a little angry I suppose. It’s been quite a long time. We’ve just run out of food, and water is sparse.
Pictured: Sophomore William Sweek, depleting our leftover food. After this, a fight ensued and the rest of us got a little mad.
It’s clear bad emotions have risen. All of us feel like we are slowly growing insane. Today I thought I saw a fairy amongst the corn, but it was really just some of my own tears I shed on them.
Pictured: Amy is clearly pissed about the fact that all she can hear is the constant chirping of birds and my own crying.
Tensions have begun to rise and the waves of conflict are crashing upon us. I’m afraid that one of us is going to die before we get out of here. I don’t want to die. I forgot to say ‘I love you’ to my mom before we left.
Pictured: Junior Tosca Ruotolo begins to harvest and hoard that sweet, sweet yellow gold. She is insistent that sharing is not caring.
Amy believes that she can discover another color if she squints hard enough.
Pictured: Amy, beginning her werewolf transformation. Well, she thinks that, but it truly is a hallucination after seeing too much green. We’ve named it Greenie Weenie Syndrome.
Tosca continues to be dead inside and frequently shows it, but I secretly think she’s planning to kill one of us in our sleep. I haven’t slept in days, I will not be eaten!
Pictured: Tosca’s eyes have definitely died some time recently. If you look hard enough, you’ll notice the depths of Hell. I guess even at a glance you can see it.
We’re all mad here. We’re all going to die. We’re all going to rot.
Pictured: Amy attempts to eat William for the third time today. We’re all worried about him. I think we all know Amy is way too far gone.
HOW WILL I EVER GET OUT OF THIS CORN HELL
Pictured: Amy keeps on jabbering about how pretty the raindrops look in our hair while attempting to lick them off our heads.
Somehow we are all still alive. I thought that it might be nice if someone died. One less potential murderer and one less person to eat our corn. Maybe their carcass could feed us for a day or two. A little meat would be nice.
Pictured: Amy fails to sacrifice herself to the gods.
A wonderful thing has just occurred. Once it started raining, the Corn Cop found us and led us to safety. I can’t wait to eat some real food. If I ever see corn again I might just kill someone. I am sincerely grateful, but I have a feeling that I want to stay in the maze. I built a home there and had corn children. I’ve nicknamed them the Children of the Corn.
Pictured: The Corn Cop leads us out of the corn maze.
Interested in experiencing your own thrilling corn maze adventure? Check out The Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island.
Patch hours: 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. daily
16511 NW Gillihan Rd.