Top 7 Senior Bests We Should’ve Had

Senior bests are a classic standby of high school yearbooks- but there’s only so many senior bests that a yearbook can include. We put together some fictional senior bests that we felt went unrecognized. Maybe next year!

 

Coolest Backpack

There’s that kid who struts into class on day one with an air of confidence that seems to be unexplainable… until they turn around. Protruding from their back is a pack that boasts maximum utility as well as effortless style. In the dead of English class, bored eyes wander to find the backpack they all long for. This backpack embodies all we wish to be and reminds us of all we’ve failed to accomplish. Whoever dons this knapsack is undoubtedly an accessory to their accessory, but nonetheless, they deserve to be recognized.

Most Likely To Owe You $7.50

You’ll bail them out when they’re just short of a frappe or bus ride, a movie ticket or sandwich, and they’ll return the favor by changing their phone number and dropping off the face of the Earth. You don’t know how they learned to be so evasive, or where the hell they’re managing to spend all this money, and maybe you’ll never even get that $7.50 back, but they’d be happy to make it an even $15 the next time they leave their wallet at home when they’re hankering for a McChicken.

Worst Opinions

Their hand goes up. Everyone else exchanges looks of anticipation. Side conversations stop short, and people wait patiently to hear whatever outlandish bullcrap is gonna come out of their mouth next. When this person talks, there are only two ways to react: either laugh it off and take it with a grain of salt, or sit silently shaking your head and being pissy. On a rare occasion, some brave soul with a quizzical look on their face will raise their hand in opposition. This person says what we’re all thinking, and for that, maybe they should be the one getting the award.

Softest Hands

They’re passing out graded work and they stop at your desk to dispense that test you would rather forget about. As they slide the test with your name scratched on it from the top of the stack, you reach out to grab it in an effort to minimize the amount of time your shameful score is exposed to open air and judging eyes. During this rushed exchange, instead of grabbing the test, your hand brushes against their’s in an accident that feels more like fate. The meeting only lasts a fraction of a second, but you’ll remember that moment forever: the day you touched the softest hands.

Most Likely To Be A Good Stepfather

Yeah, there’s a thing for “best future parent,” but being a good stepdad really takes something special. Right off the bat, he’s pleasant. Nothing not to like. He’s a hobby guy, whether it’s model trains or vintage cars, and when he asks you to join him, it’s sweet… and unbearably patronizing. An expert on polite conversation, he’ll always ask you how your day was, and it makes you want to pull your hair out. He’s charming and funny and whenever you hang out, he holds conversations with your mom a little too long and your mom likes him a little too much. He’s nice enough and a pretty good guy. But if your mom says, “that friend of yours is a real catch,” one more time, he’ll never set foot in this house again.

Best Lunch

This kid doesn’t f**k with pb and j. They’re the one that shows up to lunch every day with the custom sized tupperware, eating utensils and a three course meal. Extra points if they have a stylish knapsack to lug it all in. If they had a dime for every time a friend asked for a bite, they would be rich as hell and have an even doper lunch.

Grossest Couple

High schools see change through the ebb and flow of their students, but the couple that hugs for extensive periods of time while you’re trying to just walk down the staircase is an unfortunate tradition that will plague us until a meteor strikes the Earth and humanity dies in a sea of fire. They touch a lot, wear each other’s stinky clothes, and when they break up, they’ll probably be a strong contender for “Most Likely To Fight In The Hallway”. Don’t be these people. Please.


Words by Kaya Noteboom and Max Fawcett